update: 7 days later. 7:30am and still no hot water.
keyspan did finally come friday evening to turn everything back on, but apparently it's not so good when your boiler emits carbon monoxide.
we do have heat and gas, but it turns out the boiler is completely busted. no set plans on getting the new one anytime soon (the landlord is still in nigeria).
i'm high-tailing it home tonight for a weekend of proper hot showers and stank erasing. and perhaps some parental pampering.