Monday, December 25, 2006

joyeux noel

merry christmas. merry christmas. merry christmas. merry christmas. kiss my ass. kiss his ass. kiss your ass. happy channukah.

the stockings are no longer hung by the chimney with care... because i tore through them in a feverish holiday-induced frenzy. so far it's been a very merry christmas indeed. i was both surprised and delighted with my presents, and i'm sure my parents and grandma felt the same way. after playing the christmas vigil mass last night, we came home where my mom gave me, my grandma, and herself the first of the presents- red pajamas. very stylish.

they even came with eye masks!

after that, we ate some INCREDIBLE spinach lasagna that my mom made all by her little lonesome, which was followed by a viewing of it's a wonderful life. i was the first to get tired so i headed to bed...

which meant i was the first one up! this year i had to shout up to my parents bedroom that they were missing christmas and had to wake up... a little after 7 am. we made some irish coffee, complete with whiskey and irish cream, and gathered around the tree. notable presents this year:

for my mother i got "i know this much is true," by wally lamb. that was the book we all read and passed on in korea and i think my mom's going to like it. i also got her an awesome coffee mug from persnickety's... if it's missing when i move out to minnesota, i have no idea where it went...

for my dad i got "santa's favorite piping tunes" for his (you guessed it) bagpipes and some hemp pipe resin.

and for my grandma i got a tea caboodle, a box filled with different types of holiday tea.

kimchi got a warm coat, which he wanted nothing to do with.

my father got my mom the first season of the dog whisperer on dvd, a pair of ed levin earrings, and a wine making kit. apparently she hasn't figured out how to use it yet.

my mother got my father things scotland- and bagpipe-related, most noteworthy the "bagpipes are dead sexy" t-shirt.

i got a gift card for gap, where i can finally get some things from the red collection (the card was signed "from oprah and bono"), an ed levin bracelet, and a bose ipod player- completely awesome and totally unexpected.

here, my bracelet, my grandma's bracelet, and my mom's earrings, all compliments of ed levin... and dad.

still on today's agenda: eat and drink until we all explode... i even made a fudge torte, which i'm muy excited about.

oh, and hey. if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, i have one. i'd like frank shirley, my boss, right here tonight. i want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on melody lane with all the other rich people and i want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and i want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. hallelujah. holy shit. where's the tylenol?


Sissy said...

hey, good rendition! how many times did you need to watch that to get all of the names down?

Mom said...

Ahhh, Mommy here. Just reading this on Jan. 28th. Yes, I'm behind. I'm glad I waited. You're gone now, you're "making it after all" in Minnesota.

What wonderful memories. My memories of Christmas will warm my heart for years to come!!!